xcuse2party

Thursday July 2
Lindsay Lohan's BiSexual B'day
Orgy, Drugfest, & Booking Party
In 1986, Lindsay Lohan was born to party. In only a couple short years of international celebrity partying, drunken arrests, and drug abuse, not to mention playing around with her girlfriends' boyfriends, changing her sexual preference, and making an internet porno, Lindsay has probably eclipsed even her mentor Paris, as the papparazi's fave partygirl, mainly because of her frequent nipslips.

Drinks: We need a drink named after Lindsay. Please send. If you are stuck for ingredients, maybe you can start with the recipe for Red-Headed Slut and go from there. This is not to imply that she is a real redhead. If you know, however, please send proof.
Grub: Don't know this one either. Freckled Melons?
Music: Whatever sucks least from Lindsay's bomb of a cd
Ride: Arrive in a luv bug or a limo. But make sure you can qualify for a DUI. Better yet, have a Dezignated Driver.
DVD: Mean Girls. Or if you have invited a number of child molestors, try the remake of "The Parent Trap." If you don't know any child molestors, try childmolester.com for names of the registered short-eyes in your neighborhood.
Party Climax: When you all get booked for felony and misdemeanor charges, you can have a best and worst mugshot contest.

xcuse by Paris

This Week's Releases
GuyGrub Guy Videos

Psychotic Utensils: Peek
A smorgasbord of GuyGrubiness. The best cuts from my first 12 webisodes. I slice. I dice. I sauté mice. Well, I don’t really, but it rhymes, and in this “almost a music video” video, it's the art that matters, not the substance. And you can dance to it — unless you are white.

drinks2drink

Nerd Wacker
It's like plugging your synapes into a gazillion watt surge generator. Then rebooting your brain just after upgrading your reproductive ram. And then hooking up onto a high bandwidth trip to the outternet of sanity.

GuyGrub Recipes

cowpoked beans

Cowpoked Beans
Pull up to the ol' chuckwagon,
and ol' Gabby Guy will give you his good ol' recipe for cowpoking your legumes.
"Yee Haw!" says Noni the Intern cowgirl, as she uses her cattle prod on Guy to speed up dinner.

Pre's Weekend PreView

Dancing In The Street
On July 3, 1884, Dow Jones published its 1st stock average. setting up what we now call Wall Street, which if you are richmofo is a very nice thing, and well worth a Street Dance.

Saturday July 4

Act Independant
Be independant. Be different. Act different. Try to think of something that's a little more edgy than wine and cheese on a blanket with fireworks, or sappy music from our Patriotic Jukebox. .

Patton Lee Beaugus
Morning-After Remedies

Hair of the Dawg
Also known as an eye-opener or "Arf before you barf." Many professional partiers prefer an eye-opener as a weekend remedy, particularly when one has obligations such as a mid-morning tailgating party. But others worry that continual use of this method might have negative long-term consequences.
After an entire semester of research, it is the opinion of our staff of experts that the method should be used only once a week, on the Friday/Saturday turnaround.

tomorrow's xcuse2party is a wild excuse to party

dancing

Friday July 3
Dancing In The Street
On July 3, 1884, Dow Jones published its 1st stock average. setting up what we now call Wall Street, which if you are richmofo is a very nice thing, and well worth a Street Dance.
Locale: A street? Maybe a street in your financial district. If you live someplace like Indiana where there are no financial districts, and not a lot of real streets, pop your moves outside Wal-Mart which has all the money, anyway.
Power Drinks: Wall Street, Bullshot, or Martini

Food: Pork Futures in a bear(naise) sauce. Sorry, we couldn't help ourselves.
Dress: Guys in a Gordon Gecko power suit worth more than your ride, but be prepared to wear your silk power tie like a dew rag to show you are not just a richkid born with a golden spoon up your nose (even if you are), but that you are real folks. Women's dresscode depends on the weather, and if we say anymore we'd be accused of being the sexist pigs we really are.
Tunes: Dancing In The Streets, 10cc's "Wall Street Shuffle", Pink Floyd's "Money", ABBA's "Money, Money, Money", Scott Joplin's "Wall Street Rag"
DVDs: Wall Street and Boiler Room

xcuse by Cramer